Less than a month ago I turned in my last ever coursework for my degree and I felt an overwhelming sense of defeat, bliss, loss and relief all rolled into one emotional ball. I don't think it's easy to explain this feeling, because this meant that my sole reason for being in this country is now expended.
How is one meant to describe three years living in a foreign country that somehow turned into your second home? The streets of Piccadilly Circus is now familiar, the shops I've come to frequent and the friends from here and all over the world that I've come to love. The fact that I've gotten used to the gum encrusted pavement, picked up on the little slangs the English use, and the semi-annoying tea habit I've cultivated since I've been here. How am I supposed to just say goodbye?
And even though I've worked before the transition from student to a working adult still seems daunting. I feel like the freedom I've been granted as a student would dim so much when I start working and that I should take advantage of all the time I have left to enjoy before graduation. Aside from that I fear that I will fall into the mold of a typical working adult, working tirelessly without any direction, ending up 30 years old and not knowing whether I'm walking on the right path.
I am restless, unable to accept the fact that exploring will be a rare occurrence for me after this phase. But I'm worried because though I may say that I still don't know the hand that life will deal me. Hakuna Matata? There isn't a point worrying now and trust me, my worries get the better of me at times.
So right now I'm riding the waves. soaking in each moment and enjoying the breeze, capturing everything with my mind knowing that things will never, ever be the same again. But that just brings new moments, new places and new adventures to go on.