Why do they come every year?
Man, time baffles me.
I like November. It's a good month. Day of the Dead happens this month - a festival that is slowly becoming one of my favourites. Not because the decorations and themes are so gorgeous, but because of the significance behind why it's celebrated. To honour, regale their stories and legends, and to celebrate the lives of the ones living past and now. In the end, before we /leave/, we just want to be remembered.
It made me reflect on the mortality of us, which brings me to the topic of... dun dun, my birthday! I'm writing this just 2 days before, so I'm not yet a year older, but I figured I wouldn't have time to write it on the day.
Every year on my birthday I'm reminded by the people around me how lucky I really am, and how easy it is to take for granted what I have. Especially since I am such a terrible texter - I swear, it's a miracle I have any one left who replies me.
I have an excuse for this! I just can't multi-task very well! When I am occupied by something, I find it tough to shift my attention away (such as, texting when I'm at home - do you know how distracting everything is at home?! I have so many games collecting digital dust in my Steam library!). So forgive me, friends and family. It's never personal unless you knowingly offended me.
Looking back at the past years of my life I realize that I've changed plenty - I don't know if it's for better or worse, but I'm hoping it's the former because I cringe so hard thinking about how I used to be. I've learnt - and I am still learning, not to take things, time, and people for granted. To enjoy the present and embrace the future, no matter what trials and tribulations it may bring. I used to fear living fearlessly and now the fear is a little less, and a little more 'do it now'. And, I kinda like it.
Okay, before this turns into a gross inspirational #findyourself birthday message type of shit, I wanna put it out there that sometimes I still think life sucks and that the entire world is out to get me(semi-jokingly). Sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to but will benefit you - though you really don't want to. Sometimes you gotta do things that will hurt you, but you know it's better for yourself if you do.
Most times, you just gotta learn to deal with it and tackle it when it comes.
Of course I allow myself some moping time. I'm not a robot. I try not to mope for too long even if IT IS good material for writing - very detrimental to health.
Sometimes ya just gotta mope to cope.
Then you can get back-le to tackle.
Woooooow am I a writer yet.
Jokes aside... going back to people being remembered - the days up till this birthday, and perhaps even before that, I've been contemplating the purpose of my life... and the days up till my death. Am I afraid of death? Kind of. I'm afraid that I won't be able to do all the things I can, to absorb all of life, before I go.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been through this so-called quarter-life/mortality crisis. What is the point, if we are all born to die? Why do we live? I still don't know. Maybe I'll never know, and maybe that's okay. As long as I have things I want to do and dreams I want to fulfill, I'll be alright. Faith, dust, and pixiedust, amirite?
The places I will goooooo!On to my next year(with a pinch of trepidation).
Oh, and Happy Birthday, me.